The new iPad HD was announced a few days ago, but before you take that second job to raise the $500-$800 to buy the thing like a good citizen, maybe you should take a look at some alternative measures people have taken to get their (drug abusing, whorish) hands on an Apple item. Basically, if you have a kidney, some narcotics, or a vagina, you can engage in a woefully misguided and probably fatal transaction in an effort to score some of Cupertino’s finest. Amazon must be so bummed. No one’s even offering a boob squeeze for a Kindle Fire.

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